Lipstick feminism sans lipstick

 Grabbing your mother's lipstick, sneakily putting it on and thinking you look pretty. It's something almost everybody has experienced in their life and if you haven't you at least know what lipstick is and about its purpose. Even if I don't have any recollection of putting on my mother's lipstick I do remember being intrigued by it: opening a little case and turning the bottom half for the colorful product to show itself. How I still love it to this day. Unfortunately I'm very allergic to make-up (yes, even the likes of Clinique can't save me) so I can't wear this lipstick that intrigues me so. However, there was this one instance where I really wanted my lips to be colored. I'd chosen Chanel's Rouge Allure nr. 109 for the occasion. My lips were very upset at me by the end of the day so I’m sticking with rosebud salve until the end of my days. Luckily I can still enjoy lipstick in other ways: the perfume I'm wearing right now is named "Lipstick Rose" and I participate in lipstick feminism. I didn't know I was doing this until I entered a workplace that didn't have uniforms.

B 52 Lipstick Bomber by Wolf Vostell (1968)

Until a couple of years ago I'd worked for companies in sales which did mean I had to wear a uniform. This actually brought my mood down as I use clothing for self-expression.  So I tried to at least add a bit of myself to our workwear by wearing - to me - cool socks or a pretty hair accessory. Whenever I did this I'd notice my colleagues mocking me. This would sometimes be in the open while holding up a mirror to my face: "Hey Nesrine, do you know what you look like today?" And sometimes it would be a bit more discrete by having the decency to whisper it amongst themselves. Honestly, I didn't realize they were being unkind to me at the time. I didn't even understand what was so funny. It wasn't until I changed jobs that it clicked for me: they were laughing at my accessories. These were often very girly: hairbows and socks with ruffle trims. Whenever I'd worn the latter during my student jobs my colleagues would tell me how they wore those socks when doing their First Communion without mockery.

When I changed to a job with no clothing restrictions I was hesitant at first to go all out. Luckily most of my colleagues worked remote because of the pandemic and because they were maritime inspectors - always on the road, be it by car or by airplane. This created an environment for me to wear whatever I wanted with limited judgement from my peers. This, however, made me realize they'd treat me differently when they'd come to the office. I wouldn't wear full Lolita but just something with frills: a black hair bow, a white blouse with ruffles, a pair of black dress shorts, white knee-high socks and black loafers. This relatively little amount of frills was enough for them to brand me as a ditsy unprofessional (don't tell them that I'm actually quite ditsy in my day-to-day life). Of course, this felt really disrespectful but I understood it's because of the prejudice that comes with dressing femininely in a "man's world."

Even though it isn't a man's world anymore men and women will have preconceptions about you depending on how you present yourself, be it with fashion or makeup. That's why I go for a professional look when doing job interviews, but once I've got the job I do go all out; being unapologetically myself. I've learned that it says more about your peers than about yourself. Because if they can't see past someone's shell then why would they fully trust your capabilities and allow you to grow? Yes, you could try and change that workplace but that will take mountains of your own energy with little to no result. Trust me, I've been there and I know it wasn't worth the effort. The only thing I've learnt from that experience is that I can be fierce when it's needed. The little rebel inside was happy to be at the helm of my imaginary pirate ship. Luckily I have better colleagues now that support my way of dressing.

Self Portrait September 2023 by Michaela Stark (2023)

I was overjoyed to see this year's trends being focused on the hyperfeminine with barbiecore, balletcore and coquette (qualification: bows on everything). Honestly, I hope that these trends will allow women to wear whatever they want - no matter how girly or frilly - without it taking away that they are competent at their job. An artist I love for her body exploring work is Michaela Stark. This year she got to show her first line of lingerie at Paris Fashion Week and this year she got to work with Victoria's Secret's VS20 by creating three custom couture looks. Her designs are actually really dreamy and she's helped me with accepting my body. The corsets that are available on her webshop right now remind me of the right panel of Melun Diptych: Virgin and Child Surrounded by Angels. The asymmetry alludes to the asymmetry of one's breasts, which I adore. Unfortunately her garments are a bit out of my price range, but if I had the coin I'd stuff my drawers with her silken bloomers.

Thank you, and take care.