Silver lining and lineage

Growing up with Moroccan roots has been hard for me. Mainly because my parents, and community, harmed me so much while growing by weaponizing Moroccan culture. Over the years I have learned that I shouldn't allow their oppression to influence the way I feel about my heritage and ancestry. Even though I was born in Belgium like my father, I was forced to say I’m fully Arab which isn’t remotely correct since I’m actually half Amazigh (Shilha), more commonly referred to as Berbers. My parents likely wanted to obfuscate my Amazigh heritage because they looked down upon the Amazigh people. The past centuries the Amazigh had to face discrimination, with their way of life, language and culture becoming endangered. During the twentieth century the first documented anti-Arabism movements in North-Africa, where Amazigh people have tried to regain their autonomy by breaking free from these discriminatory regimes, started popping up. Many of them ended up fleeing Morocco altogether as the punishments for this were unbearable. My interaction with Amazigh culture properly started with a very meaningful issue from Vogue Nederland: November 2012. Unfortunately, I lost all of my Vogue Nederland magazines when I moved but my memory will have to serve me here.

Vogue Nederland - September 2012: Romantic Revolution (courtesy of models.)

In 2012 I bought my first issue of Vogue Nederland. It was the second issue and I remember myself being upset having forgotten to buy the first issue, aptly named nummer één in Nederland (English: number one in the Netherlands). My very first issue, I read from front to back multiple times until I managed to get my hand on the next one: I was sold. I had decided that Vogue Nederland had the perfect amount of fashion, culture and beauty to satisfy my hunger every month. In September of 2012 they released my favorite issue ever, Romantic Revolution, covering winter trends for 2012/2013. There was an editorial featuring a Moroccan model in the Sahara sporting all-black ensembles with the hints of silver catching my eye. These turned out to be silver Amazigh rings, bracelets, necklaces and earrings, and I had fallen in love. I was so enamored with the spread that I cut it out and pasted the images on my school book covers. Later on, I showed my mother some of the detail shots whilst telling her that she should get me some of this jewelry on her next trip to Morocco. Luckily, this time she followed through and managed to bring me back silver jewelry with Amazigh symbols as well as some other traditional goodies: a woolen Amazigh coat and a leather backpack with woven kilim, which I regrettably had to leave at my parental home years ago. When I was younger, I wasn't aware that these were all related to Amazigh culture

Silver Amazigh jewelry, a bit tarnished but I will polish them soon (2024)

My adoration for these items was very confusing to my father, who grew in a period where people looked down heavily upon anything Amazigh. Unfortunately he passed that down by teaching his children to look down on this culture; I still remember how we had to say we were fully Arab when others asked us about our heritage. Back then I didn't know it was a lie, but a couple of years ago I learned that both of my parents are half Amazigh. My father felt shame for being half Amazigh (or Berber as it used to be called). The word is derived from the Latin word for barbarian which is why they have such bad connotations linked to them. These were actually only ever seen as "bad" by the Islamic armies who wanted to conquer North-Africa and add it to the caliphate of the Umayyad dynasty: Amazigh weren't inherently Muslim. They had their own religion which resembles ancient Egypt’s worship of the sun and moon (my FFXIV Astrologian heart), which would make them heretics in the eyes of the Islamic people. After all, nothing is more shameful than being a polytheist when it comes to any follower of Abrahamic religions.

Al-Kahina, also known as Dihya

Reading about my heritage and pre-Islam Morocco has helped me appreciate my roots. I feel it's especially necessary to educate yourself on where your family comes from if you’re part of any type of diaspora. Through this you might even uncover some previously undiscovered beauty hidden within your ancestry. For me this was finding out about Al-Kahina (English lit.: the diviner), an Amazigh warrior-queen, who was known during her life as the mightiest African monarch. Seeing that more than a millennium ago women were allowed to be powerful came as such a joyful surprise to me. This has definitely inspired me to show the world my strength and resilience without the shame my parents tried to instill. For a while now, I've been trying to come out from the shadows and start sharing my opinions on just about anything I care or think about. I hope more people with the same roots as me will grow up to realize they can decide for themselves if they want to be religious or not.

Thank you, and take care.